“I know what you’re thinking…”. was the recurring offensive theme which (among other projections) drove me out of a MANY years’ relationship. Sorry, my thoughts are mine. Die Gedanken sind frei, OK?
For a while I was going to a male healthcare provider who would brag about his prowess during my appointment. How he was better than the other practitioners in his field, etc. I never had any issues with the care I got from him, but I stopped going to him because his behavior reduced my trust in him, both professionally and personally. Why do men think this behavior makes them look good?
I will never forget the time when my hinge date, upon learning I was vegetarian, and that yes, that includes not eating seafood, spent 20 minutes trying to debate me on whether or not prawns feel pain (not fish generally, just prawns). Since I couldn’t definitively prove that they do, he insisted my dietary choice of over 5 years was illogical...
Nopety nope on the uninvieted hugs! I am a firm believer that while many people think hugs are "friendly and safe" they are in fact an opportunity for someone to press their entire body against yours.
😂 you could have writing about me and the random men I used to call in with my natural interest… and even if I laughed, I find it scary that so many of us are having similar experiences even if we were socialized in different countries and cultures. This is a system, not a casual thing: it happens too often to just be random
Goodness gracious. This whole encounter is uncomfortable to read, and must have been even more cringe worthy to live. Yikes.
I can relate to this, after dating a few men that lavish in the attention of the other and don't bother to ask about you. One and done, thanks for making this so clear!
"Off limits" is not synonymous with jerk/asshole/misogynist. It refers to anyone I feel might not be the best idea to sleep with because down the line things could get awkward.
I've had a few experiences with divorced dads lately where I've had the thought, "I think I know why your wife divorced you..."
“I know what you’re thinking…”. was the recurring offensive theme which (among other projections) drove me out of a MANY years’ relationship. Sorry, my thoughts are mine. Die Gedanken sind frei, OK?
Ugh!!!
For a while I was going to a male healthcare provider who would brag about his prowess during my appointment. How he was better than the other practitioners in his field, etc. I never had any issues with the care I got from him, but I stopped going to him because his behavior reduced my trust in him, both professionally and personally. Why do men think this behavior makes them look good?
Ugh! It's so unbecoming! Glad you switched doctors!
YIKES! He sounds like a textbook narcissist and the only way to get rid of them is to stop responding and block them. I speak from experience.
Good to know, thank you!
I will never forget the time when my hinge date, upon learning I was vegetarian, and that yes, that includes not eating seafood, spent 20 minutes trying to debate me on whether or not prawns feel pain (not fish generally, just prawns). Since I couldn’t definitively prove that they do, he insisted my dietary choice of over 5 years was illogical...
ugh just WHY.
The sigh I just sighed on your behalf. 🙄
Nopety nope on the uninvieted hugs! I am a firm believer that while many people think hugs are "friendly and safe" they are in fact an opportunity for someone to press their entire body against yours.
AGREE 100%
Great piece of advice and very serious to take:
😂 you could have writing about me and the random men I used to call in with my natural interest… and even if I laughed, I find it scary that so many of us are having similar experiences even if we were socialized in different countries and cultures. This is a system, not a casual thing: it happens too often to just be random
Oh man...after my divorce, I ran into a couple of these jackwads as well. They're utterly exhausting.
Those things would be a turn off for me as well.
The circumstances are clear this isn’t my ex but boy could it have been 😬
I look forward to reading your newsletter every week. Thanks for sharing.
Goodness gracious. This whole encounter is uncomfortable to read, and must have been even more cringe worthy to live. Yikes.
I can relate to this, after dating a few men that lavish in the attention of the other and don't bother to ask about you. One and done, thanks for making this so clear!
Thank u for this- had sooo many dates with men like this.
Sounds like the sex would have been pyrotechnic. "Do you Smoke after sex?" No, I just kinda curl up at the edges.
And that is why he is divorced…
Voted Trump
Didn’t vaccinate
Hates EVs
Thinks women are happy at home with kids ’n cooking
Q: If off limits men are a turn-on why the surprise? You did know up front that this was a really bad idea - yes?
"Off limits" is not synonymous with jerk/asshole/misogynist. It refers to anyone I feel might not be the best idea to sleep with because down the line things could get awkward.
That's a great rationalization - and the reference is apt for just about anyone you bed!
Good luck though, it's a great life if you don't weaken!
Huh? That wasn't a rationalization. Someone being a boor and someone being off-limits for work things are unrelated.
Thanks, JC. I just banned John from further commenting. Obnoxious and abusive ad hominem attacks are not welcome here.
You were saying Loretta was rationalizing, so I was explaining that she wasn't
Obnoxious and abusive ad hominem attacks are not welcome here. John has been banned from commenting. Sorry you endured that JC.