To the Bed is a brutally honest, often messy, sometimes hilarious account of midlife dating post-divorce.

I’m Loretta — yes, that’s a pseudonym — and I’m here to take you with me on a wild ride as I navigate dating and sex after ending my marriage and sharing custody of my two kids.

I’ll share everything: my experiences navigating the world without a wedding ring on; my dating app adventures (and misadventures); what happened to my sex drive post-divorce; what it’s like to sleep with new people after so many years of monogamy; what I’m learning about men through my adventures. And so much more.

I will, as needed, change minor details to protect my own and others’ privacy. But the stories are otherwise true — all of them.

Why “To the Bed?”

Soon after splitting up with my husband, I re-watched Moonstruck. I was watching it while also sexting with a guy I’d hooked up with a week earlier — the first guy I’d slept with with post-divorce.

The scene in which Loretta and Ronny first have sex resonated with me because I, like Loretta, was desperately trying to understand and manage my new sexual desire. In the scene, after grabbing and kissing Loretta in the kitchen, Ronny picks Loretta up and carries her off. “Where are you taking me?” she asks. “To the bed,” he says. Her head drops back in ecstasy and resignation as she says “Oh my god. Okay. Okay! I don’t care. Take me to the bed!”

Join the community

This newsletter and community is a welcoming and safe space for women who are

• curious about life after divorce or are currently navigating it

• wondering what it’s like to date in your 40s and use sex and dating apps

• hoping for advice or the opportunity to share your own experiences in a safe and affirming environment