I think this also has to do with shedding a lot of our shame around sex after divorce/in midlife. Sally is the classic Good Girl archetype — she can’t hookup with an imperfect guy because she’s trying to overachieve at everything in her life, and holds herself and everyone else to impossibly high standards, even when she sacrifices her own pleasure in the process.
Yeah Sally’s whole thing was she wasn’t going to have sex until it was “making love” and not like Harry who had sex “like he was out for revenge.” And I love the movie and especially his final speech but not every sex partner ever needs to be held to that high a standard.
I think I am having the realization that I am very similar to Sally in that way. Ultimately I never wanted to have sex with anyone that I didn’t love which is why I didn’t have sex with some of the people I dated. Based on my attempts with my ex boyfriend to do anything beyond basic making out though I think the sex probably would have been bad- he seemed like he didn’t know much even though he had had sex before, and as you know I definitely didn’t feel like our one month of dating showed him to be this super stellar match anyway. In hindsight it’s probably good that he dumped me even if it didn’t feel great that he dumped me for someone who seemed a lot like me only dumber.
The Scottish accent is the DEAD SEXIEST and no one has ever been able to convince me otherwise. Give me a few moments to mourn your hot Scot ghost................. Okay, I'm back, even if he's not. 😭 Love how much you're discovering about yourself! I'm with you -- I was a shocked Sally at things like that, but now I'm sort of regretting all the times I didn't just hop into bed with a bad date. We're in our Harry years now, baby!
I would need a burner account to post what I want to, but I’ll just raise my hand and say - I fully agree on the voice memo + Scotsman thing. 🥵 There is an untapped market here.
Love this! Good for you. I’ve about ten years on you and I have never felt hotter. My libido is sky high and I plan on enjoying myself for as long as it lasts. I think it’s a combination of grown kids (more time and energy) and being extremely comfortable in my skin. Also have also learnt to keep talking and asking! Husband keeping up with me so far 🤣🤣🤣😜
I just found your newsletter through Men Yell At Me and I have devoured every last one. I’m going through something similar; out of a marriage and having a whole new awakening out here. Libido is back, I’m hooking up with younger men (I’m 51, many are in their 30s) and everything you are writing about is resonating.
I concur with the hot Scot fantasy ( Sam Heughan in the first few seasons of Outlander 🔥🔥🔥).
It’s been ages since I’ve seen When Harry Met Sally but I remember that scene too! I’ve definitely been both characters at different times in my dating life. Sometimes you’re in a phase when fantastic sex is all you need, want, and can manage. At other times, you want the closeness and intimacy with someone you love. I’m 48 and now I want it all with the same person!
hahahaha I actually don't know the exact number, but I know there were a LOT fewer when I left that hotel room than when I arrived, and I only had one!! But yes, it was probably seven, lol
I think this also has to do with shedding a lot of our shame around sex after divorce/in midlife. Sally is the classic Good Girl archetype — she can’t hookup with an imperfect guy because she’s trying to overachieve at everything in her life, and holds herself and everyone else to impossibly high standards, even when she sacrifices her own pleasure in the process.
Yes, definitely -- shedding the overachiever mentality makes a HUGE difference in terms of what you let yourself do and enjoy.
Yeah Sally’s whole thing was she wasn’t going to have sex until it was “making love” and not like Harry who had sex “like he was out for revenge.” And I love the movie and especially his final speech but not every sex partner ever needs to be held to that high a standard.
I think I am having the realization that I am very similar to Sally in that way. Ultimately I never wanted to have sex with anyone that I didn’t love which is why I didn’t have sex with some of the people I dated. Based on my attempts with my ex boyfriend to do anything beyond basic making out though I think the sex probably would have been bad- he seemed like he didn’t know much even though he had had sex before, and as you know I definitely didn’t feel like our one month of dating showed him to be this super stellar match anyway. In hindsight it’s probably good that he dumped me even if it didn’t feel great that he dumped me for someone who seemed a lot like me only dumber.
Also lolol re: stole your pot gummies!
The Scottish accent is the DEAD SEXIEST and no one has ever been able to convince me otherwise. Give me a few moments to mourn your hot Scot ghost................. Okay, I'm back, even if he's not. 😭 Love how much you're discovering about yourself! I'm with you -- I was a shocked Sally at things like that, but now I'm sort of regretting all the times I didn't just hop into bed with a bad date. We're in our Harry years now, baby!
It’s sooooooooooooooo sexy. And I love what you wrote — we’re in our Harry years! (And hairy, too, at least on my chin, wtf)
I would need a burner account to post what I want to, but I’ll just raise my hand and say - I fully agree on the voice memo + Scotsman thing. 🥵 There is an untapped market here.
The ONE hair on my chin. I don't get it! Who is that for?! Whyyyyy
Ha ha. I have one too. My sister who inherited the hairy gene, said, ‘ONE?!’🤣🤣🤣 What I find weird is the odd white eyebrow hair. WHITE 🙄
I have random white eyebrow hairs too!!!!!
Oooh, my eyebrows have always been all but invisible my entire life, but suddenly I have one honest-to-goodness BLACK eyebrow hair. What is that?!
Love this! Good for you. I’ve about ten years on you and I have never felt hotter. My libido is sky high and I plan on enjoying myself for as long as it lasts. I think it’s a combination of grown kids (more time and energy) and being extremely comfortable in my skin. Also have also learnt to keep talking and asking! Husband keeping up with me so far 🤣🤣🤣😜
I just found your newsletter through Men Yell At Me and I have devoured every last one. I’m going through something similar; out of a marriage and having a whole new awakening out here. Libido is back, I’m hooking up with younger men (I’m 51, many are in their 30s) and everything you are writing about is resonating.
I concur with the hot Scot fantasy ( Sam Heughan in the first few seasons of Outlander 🔥🔥🔥).
It’s been ages since I’ve seen When Harry Met Sally but I remember that scene too! I’ve definitely been both characters at different times in my dating life. Sometimes you’re in a phase when fantastic sex is all you need, want, and can manage. At other times, you want the closeness and intimacy with someone you love. I’m 48 and now I want it all with the same person!
YESSSS TO ALL OF THIS!
Was it 7 gummies?
hahahaha I actually don't know the exact number, but I know there were a LOT fewer when I left that hotel room than when I arrived, and I only had one!! But yes, it was probably seven, lol
Seven?! Jeez, what was in those gummies?