Nine Posers Posing

My favorite male clothing models of the season.

In the spirit of the holidays, I am giving you a gift.

The gift of male models.

Fine, PHOTOS of male models.

As I’ve shopped for gifts for the men in my life these past few weeks, I have encountered photos of guys on popular clothing websites that have made me wonder: What the actual fuck? But also…..yum!? I’ve felt conflicted — torn between the desire to admire their beauty versus guffaw at their vestments and poses. (I ended up realizing I could do both.) I decided to dedicate additional time to this venture and to share my reporting here, because I am so goddamned horny please send help dedicated to this newsletter.

Here are my nine favorites, with captions.¹

I asked him to suck my tits. He sucked my blood. (Alexander McQueen)

Do jeans come in elongated crotch now? (Zara)

The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. (Versace)

OMG THERE’S A FOURTH BRIDGERTON SON!!! (Brunello Cucinelli)

Well hung, or hungover? (J. Crew)

You’d be making that face, too. (Fendi)

Equus, at Eton (Hermes)

Is it just me or is this guy DEFINITELY a white supremacist (Calvin Klein)

He wants you to know his cock is thiiiiiis big (Old Navy)

Which one is your favorite?

1. Apologies for the lack of racial and ethnic diversity presented here. White men are highly overrepresented on many of these websites, and, typically, they look the most ridiculous.

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