I am here for ALL of the pleasure that we can claim. Love this for you. You were generous to share your gushy truth with us š¦ā¤ļø hereās to getting the joy where + when we can!
Thank you for sharing, I am glad that you decided that the only way was through! I am also happy that the gentleman you chose was respectful and valued your consent and enthusiasm!
Thank you so much for this. I see so much of my own experiences mirrored here - both the exhilarating and the unsettling... I think the first time I had sex post-divorce (a divorce I didn't want) was a REAL doorway into a whole other self. Like you, I was shocked at what I found myself saying / do. Very frequent moments of "Who the hell is in charge here??" Now, looking back, I can see that every step was necessary, that I needed some sort of seismic shift / rupture... and I got it!
Good question! I checked in with my friends several times after sending the cheese emoji (including once we were back in the room). He and I had talked about the possibility of my changing my mind at any point, too.
I have to tell you that this essay was in my head during my first kiss after divorce which happened a couple days ago. And it helped me get past the awkwardness and the wtf is happening so that I could start to finally enjoy myself. Honestly in my head I was like Loretta said it was strange too but itās better on the other side. So lest you wonder about your impact, it is real. Thank you for opening up to help the rest of us get through.
If find the first time with an other is always strange. Exciting, new, weird all the things. And hot. I always feel very blessed by someone becoming nude for me.
Iām an old guy, twice divorced, and I get you all the way. For me those āafterā first dates were like a reverse stage of evolution. Strange but familiar, sexy but nervousā¦ you captured it all perfectly!
Iām overjoyed for you!
As I read, my stomach clenched waiting for the dissociation, discomfort, assumptions, lack of communication, listening, and consent.
You give me hope for cis het men, and the ability to start again. ššš
I do not know you so maybe this is a wired thing to say but I am SO proud of you + exhilarated for you.
Oh my gosh not weird. I soooooo appreciate it!!!
I am here for ALL of the pleasure that we can claim. Love this for you. You were generous to share your gushy truth with us š¦ā¤ļø hereās to getting the joy where + when we can!
I love this for you and thank you for sharing. We need to hear more of these stories!
Thank you for sharing, I am glad that you decided that the only way was through! I am also happy that the gentleman you chose was respectful and valued your consent and enthusiasm!
Me too, Piyush!
Thank you so much for this. I see so much of my own experiences mirrored here - both the exhilarating and the unsettling... I think the first time I had sex post-divorce (a divorce I didn't want) was a REAL doorway into a whole other self. Like you, I was shocked at what I found myself saying / do. Very frequent moments of "Who the hell is in charge here??" Now, looking back, I can see that every step was necessary, that I needed some sort of seismic shift / rupture... and I got it!
Thanks for sharing your first post-divorce experience! It's pushed me (a non-writer!) to start my own substack and share my experiences there.
Just stopping to comment t that you sent the cheese emoji just becuz he was hot? What if once you got to your room, you changed your mind then?
Good question! I checked in with my friends several times after sending the cheese emoji (including once we were back in the room). He and I had talked about the possibility of my changing my mind at any point, too.
This was wonderful.
I should tell the story of my first time after divorce -- it was a threesome with a long-married couple. And it helped me feel single again.
Please do. X
I have to tell you that this essay was in my head during my first kiss after divorce which happened a couple days ago. And it helped me get past the awkwardness and the wtf is happening so that I could start to finally enjoy myself. Honestly in my head I was like Loretta said it was strange too but itās better on the other side. So lest you wonder about your impact, it is real. Thank you for opening up to help the rest of us get through.
If find the first time with an other is always strange. Exciting, new, weird all the things. And hot. I always feel very blessed by someone becoming nude for me.
Iām an old guy, twice divorced, and I get you all the way. For me those āafterā first dates were like a reverse stage of evolution. Strange but familiar, sexy but nervousā¦ you captured it all perfectly!
Congratulations!!!!!