Ooo that last line feels like some seriously empowering clarity.
It’s so interesting that there’s guys wanting to be the sex guru type, it makes my stomach turn, I’ve met a few of them while I was single, their whole energy felt ‘leaky’.
A guy I dated years ago spat in my mouth once while on top of me, I was disgusted and angry and actually lost a lot of respect for him, I’m happily a snob when it comes to guys with skanky taste in kink!
Loving your writing, it’s so fluid (actually didn’t intend that pun but let’s go with it!) and engaging. Admire your courage
I wonder if him spitting in your mouth without consent was a test to see whether he could escalate to non-consent more generally. There are a lot of abusers masquerading behind consensual D/s dynamics, and often they subtly escalate to see what they might get away with in the future.
Yes, I wonder this too….. I called him out on it again the next day via text and told him it was totally uncool, but who knows how much of a difference that will make! I’m not sure if I’m going to see him again anyway.
“I have always found it hard to tell the difference between wanting to try something because I’m curious, and wanting to try something to please the person I’m with. I never want feel pressured into doing things for a man’s enjoyment — and I’d like to think that I would not, at this point in my life, give into such coercion if I felt it. But as a woman who’s spent a lifetime sacrificing my own needs for others, I can’t always be sure. Old habits die hard.”
These essays are such important and powerful slice-of-life explorations, thank you for sharing them!
Side note: have you seen Single Lady, Ali Wong’s latest standup special on Netflix? A hilarious and empowering take on post-divorce sex that you and subscribers might enjoy.
Ooo that last line feels like some seriously empowering clarity.
It’s so interesting that there’s guys wanting to be the sex guru type, it makes my stomach turn, I’ve met a few of them while I was single, their whole energy felt ‘leaky’.
A guy I dated years ago spat in my mouth once while on top of me, I was disgusted and angry and actually lost a lot of respect for him, I’m happily a snob when it comes to guys with skanky taste in kink!
Loving your writing, it’s so fluid (actually didn’t intend that pun but let’s go with it!) and engaging. Admire your courage
I wonder if him spitting in your mouth without consent was a test to see whether he could escalate to non-consent more generally. There are a lot of abusers masquerading behind consensual D/s dynamics, and often they subtly escalate to see what they might get away with in the future.
Yes, I wonder this too….. I called him out on it again the next day via text and told him it was totally uncool, but who knows how much of a difference that will make! I’m not sure if I’m going to see him again anyway.
Damn:
“I have always found it hard to tell the difference between wanting to try something because I’m curious, and wanting to try something to please the person I’m with. I never want feel pressured into doing things for a man’s enjoyment — and I’d like to think that I would not, at this point in my life, give into such coercion if I felt it. But as a woman who’s spent a lifetime sacrificing my own needs for others, I can’t always be sure. Old habits die hard.”
That resonated with me as well. It makes me somewhat fearful of dating because I'm afraid I'm going to just agree because I'm such a people pleaser.
These essays are such important and powerful slice-of-life explorations, thank you for sharing them!
Side note: have you seen Single Lady, Ali Wong’s latest standup special on Netflix? A hilarious and empowering take on post-divorce sex that you and subscribers might enjoy.
A friend of mine was just talking about it! I plan to watch very soon!!!
Spitting is a hard no for me. Yuck! I'm pretty adventurous but I really don't see anything sexy about somebody spitting into my mouth.